savor

ever so often, at least a hundred and one times a day I find my eyes a little moister, and that little feeling of pressure when you feel the dam about to break getting stronger as the days grow nearer.

i can barely grasp that its really almost over these amazing last few weeks of university filled bliss and yet i have this anxious feeling- THERE ARE SO MANY STRINGS LEFT UNTIED! so many relationships to grow closer, to mend, to restore, to grow before I am called to leave. Too many things I want to hold onto a bit longer all the while knowing He gently reminds me whose hands these lives are in, who my relationships are held by- the hands of my gentle, firm, and loving Maker.

I often wonder why I can’t leave everything perfectly? Every fear, every broken relationship resolved and then He reminds me there’s His perfect timing, His sweet plans for them and for me. 

This past Monday me and a few friends decided to make an adventure to food paradise Berkeley and try 6 restaurants in 4 hours. Brazil Cafe, TopDog, Zachary’s Pizza, Jjajangmyun, etc.. SO MUCH goodness in one take and there was a bittersweet revelation at the end of such a gluttonous journey- each food tasted so much better when it wasn’t crammed into one. Too much goodness and blessings in too short a time and on already full stomachs, made it impossible to savor the goodness of each individual dish. Things are better in their own time, to savor and relish each taste, each smell, each atmosphere.

These last few weeks, I’ve craved everything to be perfect, cramming one-on-ones, ministry, school, and trying to make everything PERFECT gluttonously instead of willing myself to let time go in order to savor each one of these things and just let the rest be. I wanted to fix everything so quickly, but He firmly reminds me that time is in His hands and my job is to just enjoy even the smallest of blessings. Even the bad things prove a stark contrast to good to just show how GOOD the good is! Thank you for the bad I get to have along with the good… even if it means leaving it behind.

Proverbs 18:21

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. -Proverbs 12:18

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. -Ephesians 4:29

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. -Psalms 19:14

When I am tired, especially nowadays, it seems so much easier to be a bit more careless with my words, a little bit more rash about the things I say. Little do I remember the power of my words to carry life or death to those who hear my words. That quite carelessly, my tired tone, my frustrated heart spurts out frustrated words that dishearten and discourage. Lord, may my words be few, but let them all be words that say I am so in love with You. 

no..mo…  :(

I just want to move Your heart, God

To give You all I am

View high resolution

another all-nighter for tonight. ive come prepared- corn, wendy’s chicken nuggets, mocha iced coffee and naked juice. this is like my 4th one in a week.